this speech of absence
this scenery world made up of little silly empty words
each time I say I love you,
definition comes to my mind:
it’s when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the
/literal meaning
Irony.
I don’t love you
I want to love you, I try to love you, I desperately need to love you
but I can’t
I can’t love you
everyday I stay home and build up this barrier between you and me
/and call it sms, msn, telephone or whatsoever
I stay home and recall all those old lost void memories where there’s /not even an image of you, but just your absence
and if my eyes were to meet yours
then my hand would just slide away
blue blood blooming into red round cheeks
green heart fading fastly into grey
to the dark region of the very-well-known
my fortress of solitude
beneath the sky of thoughts
between the piles of books
where I can sit and smoke and write
I can do whatever I like except for
not being alone
not feeling alone
and if I can’t be with you
there’s no sense in screaming these fucking words
I love you
I want to love you
I need to love you
Even though I fear you
I need you
and I need an earthquake to swallow this hideaway
to bury all this thoughts and books and texts
so I can realize
there’s no sense in dreaming
if I can’t wake up to live my day.
